As many of you know, I’m pretty new to Microsoft but I love finding those who have been here for much longer and listening to their jokes and stories. There is a cool culture that surrounds living and working in the Pacific Northwest with smart, driven and talented individuals. It sort of makes you wonder how one gets here.
It was this last question that @windows and I started chatting about a few months ago. The following is our informative, super serious and deeply researched list of how you know your child will grow up to be a Microsoft Windows Employee. It was deeply impacted by the more than brilliant contributions of @brandonleblanc and @benthepcguy. Enjoy it, share it and most of we hope you add to it.
10 ways you know your child will grow up to be a Microsoft Employee:
1. They prefer Windows.com to Disney.com.
2. They dress their Xbox avatars better than they dress themselves in real life.
3. They make PowerPoint presentations to show their friends their new toys.
4. As a baby, they prefer a Microsoft Arc Touch Mouse over their bottle. (It’s bendy!)
5. They like Internet Explorer over Dora the Explorer.
6. Play dates take place via Messenger video chat on their PC.
7. You have to put the Windows Start sound on repeat to put them to sleep.
8. They walk around the house shouting “Developers! Developers! Developers!”
9. They Bing their math homework instead of using a calculator.
10. They changed your Windows 7 theme to Justin Bieber.
I wonder if anyone can guess which contributions are mine? :-)
Ha! When you tell them to open a window they head for the laptop. When their friends dress as princesses and superheroes for Halloween, they dress as live tiles. When other kids are memorizing stats about their favorite baseball players, they're memorizing stats about Bill Gates and Paul Allen.
> They changed your Windows 7 theme to Justin Bieber.
ಠ_ಠ
@SelfishMom - Love those comments :) I want to dress up as a live tile for Halloween. Genius idea! :)
@antifuo - thanks for commenting. :)
i do all expect number 10, i prefer windows original theme :) and also working for Microsoft is my dream job :P
Hahhahaha, really funny! I love number 8 :)
Instead of Justin Bieber.. I prefer Metallica's theme on my Windows 7 box.
~ M for Microsoft, Metallica and NothingElseMatter !!
8-)
Hilarious....and true at the same time.... Microsoft is truly awesome....
I think I was a Microsoft baby....when I was young I would pour over the Contral Panel of my Windows 95 monster of a computer:)
I was raised on Microsoft as well. Even when I was too young to appreciate it, I've always enjoyed the cohesive Microsoft ecosystem where products all work together. There's nothing else out there like it, and the best part is that it keep getting better.
And for what it's worth, #8 really made me laugh.
When other kids save their pocket money to buy a games console, they save up theirs to buy the new edition of windows. (actually did that)
Their favorite cartoon character is Steve Ballmer's Kinect Avatar.
I'm 16 years old, when I was younger my mind used to mentally play the Windows XP login sound when I woke up =S
When I had my first computer back in 1997 (I was 7 years old), me and my little brother used to share it together.
He used it to play games ... I used to open the Control Panel and read the settings and try to mess with them and see what happens :D
@abm -- Brandon Leblanc and I both think your comment should become our new team motto. ;)
@msft77jf -- do you remember what type that first PC was? I had a Gateway and was so excited when it showed up in that cow patterned box that I actually broke my finger raising my sister to the door.
@jbuchan12 -- did you really?! How long did it take you?!
@kweezy157 - That's awesome. You are super fan. Hands down.
@Kristina Libby, lol !! Hey, if you r really gonna do it lemme admit that I had a typo there; its "Nothing Else Matters". The name of the song, I forgot to put 's' :p
Awesome post. Except the Justin Bieber thingy!
I took a screen capture from a Windows Phone 7 video so I can have the I love Windows Phone wallpaper.
Tried about 8 times to download Windows 8 Developer preview with dev tools exceeding my download limit waaaay too much over the course of one week.
Writing and testing Windows Phone apps without a device yet, and no marketplace in my country - about to finish
Have been watching Windows 8 videos everyday from build and youtube missing football (soccer in the united states) since build happened.
Been coding since I was 13 years old, the first time I touched a computer. Thought that's how computers are supposed to be used.
Did my Biology homework and research in the school library using Encarta instead of reading books that were prescribed for the subject. And I was a librarian.
Went into college just to get the papers because I was self taught and proficient in all MS dev technologies by the time I finished high school. All this without owning a computer until 2 years after leaving college.
Got my college to abandon Java and start teaching VB when I enrolled. Started teaching VB until they could find a suitable lecturer, all the time having to attend classes in my first year.
When the suitable lecturer came, it wasn't lessons for me but discussions. Used to skip programming lectures to write my own code in the lab. College ended up using my software for registration. all in the first year, using VB.
Convinced them to introduce VC++ when I was about to leave, and .NET after I left. Just so that there could be a lot more developers using MS tools in the market.
I'm not a fan boy, just like using practical and useful tools? :D
@fabulous -- that is truly a fabulous answer. :) I love hearing about things like that!
@Abm -- thanks for the update. :)
More ways you know your child will grow up to be a Microsoft Employee:
0x00 They insist on calling the First grade, "Grade Zero"
0x01 At the Kindergarten Graduation, he wanted a Ship It award
0x02 Builds a series of Lego buildings 1 through 10 but oddly skips building 7
0x03 Filled his parents’ bedroom with foam peanuts when they were on vacation without him
0x04 Has t-shirts made up each semester
0x05 Endured the ridicule of having a Zune
0x06 Keeps gesturing in class, forgetting that his classroom doesn't have a Kinect
0x07 Was a Support MVP by the fifth grade
0x08 His first email address was windozerulz@live.com
0x09 Gives codenames to each of his school projects
0x0A Instead of wooden blocks with letters on them, he rearranges his patent cubes
0x0B Insists on a relight in his bedroom
0x0C Was at //build/
0x0D Keeps muttering, "I AM A PC!"
0x0E Tells his parents he'll be OOF the next day
0x0F Calls his birth "the day I RTM'ed"
@ChuckOp, that is the most hilarious list yet! I love it :-)
Some more:
If they prefer Windows Live ID-based services over Google, Apple and so on.
If they own the whole set of Microsoft devices, and are using them to entertain (Xbox, Kinect, Windows Phone, Microsoft mice, Microsoft keyboards, LifeCam webcams, LifeChat headsets)
When they are asked about the current weather, they are a) opening weather.msn.com; b) look on the Weather gadget on the desktop; or c) looking at the Weather live tile (or opening the app) on (from) the Windows 8 Start Screen, instead of just looking on what is happening outside of the window of their home.
Their favorite news channel is MSNBC.
The table in their living room is Microsoft Surface.
etc.
My 16 year old needs a job now LOL
I need my 16yo son to have a job. But I won't make him change the Windows theme to Bieber
They love mangoes more than apples.
I do love my Arc Touch Mouse!!!
Well, guess I'll be seeing Microsoft soon :)
When I was younger, I had a Windows 98 and I loved that thing to death. I loved Monster Truck Madness 2 and still play it to this day. "Everyday I fly my flag proud, and my flag is Microsoft."
add:
11. They put Microsoft team (1978) photo rather than Star Trek team, the new frontier.
12. They put their face on Bill Gates' police mugshot for speeding offence photo.
no 11 once they start to delate
It is bendy lol :) just wish it had the back button on the side like my Arc mouse did
11. When they keep on talking about technology, Especially Windows
Some of these comments are making me feel old. :/ I learned spreadsheets with Multiplan, thankyouverymuch.
In college, we thought we were cool using Windows 3.11 to share video files about the size of a postage stamp across 10baseT ethernet.
@Hassan Selim said: "When I had my first computer back in 1997 (I was 7 years old)..."
Wow, now I feel old! Let's see, when I had my first computer back in 1981 (I was (not telling) years old), it wasn't a Windows computer, obviously. But, yes, I've come to the realization that working for Microsoft probably won't happen for me in this lifetime, so I have to live vicariously through my son. He is only 9 months old right now, but he is already mesmerized by the Windows 7 'ribbon' screen saver, and if you get the keyboard anywhere near him, he'll bang away relentlessly, crying if you take it away from him. Turn on the TV and my Windows 7 PC, which one does he stare at? The computer. Yep, future Microsoft employee. Does Microsoft have any youth internships for 9 month olds? lol!
When I was 7, I hacked the admin account on my old XP machine. Good sign? =D
After teaching VisiCalc as a programming language, after playing with a Brainiac toy as a kid, I eventually helped raise a kid, that suggested, when he was 14, that if I didn't change my programming style, he'd have to let me go, and find someone else...I changed. And today, still partner with him. Oh, and about the first comment, ... that's what my wife and I wonder every time we look at our kids!